Creating an adoption plan is an extremely difficult and personal decision. People have various reasons for wanting or needing to plan for adoption for their child. Each situation is unique and as long as Birth Parents are making informed decisions and their own choices, there is no right or wrong way to create an adoption plan. At Adoption ARC, we want to provide Birth Parents with all the information and counseling they need so that they can decide for themselves how to move forward.
The Two Types of Adoption: Closed and Open
There are two main types of adoptions. Closed adoption means that the Birth Parents do not receive any information about the family who adopts their baby. There are also no updates to the Birth Family as the child grows up. The Adoptive Parents may or may not choose to tell the child they are adopted. This is how adoptions were typically done in the past. Open adoption means there is some level of ongoing contact between Birth parents, Adoptive parents and the child. Additionally, in open adoptions, Birth Parents are able to select the adoptive family they would like to parent the baby and meet with them.
Communication in an Open Adoption
At Adoption ARC, we facilitate open adoptions. All of the Adoptive Families we work with are required to be open to a base level of contact, which includes a meeting with the Birth Family at the time of placement and photo/letter updates about the child sent to the agency on a quarterly basis the first 2 years of the child’s life and then annually, from the ages of 2-18.
Many of the adoptive families we work with are also open to an annual zoom or in person visit with the Birth Family. We believe that Open Adoption is the healthiest type of adoption for all members of the adoption triad (Birth Family, Adoptive Family and the child). The adoption community has greatly shifted toward open adoptions over the past 25 years or so, as more and more research comes out about the benefits of openness.
Moving Beyond Closed Adoptions
Adoption ARC has been facilitating open adoptions for the past 31 years, pioneering this work at a time when many agencies were still only doing closed adoptions. Closed adoptions involve a lot of secrecy, which implies that adoption is something shameful, not to be discussed. In reality, adoption is just one of many ways that people build family and it is something to be celebrated.
How Do Children Process Open Adoptions?
By talking openly with their child from the beginning about adoption and the child’s Birth Family, Adoptive Parents normalize the experience for the child. Adoptees are able to attach and bond with their parents who’ve adopted them, while still knowing they have Birth Parents who love and care for them. This leaves adoptees with less questions about their identity and where they came from, as they grow up. Open Adoption can also provide some relief for Birth Mothers, as they are able to see that their child is growing up loved, well cared for and safe.
The Decision is Always Yours
However, at Adoption ARC, we will never force Birth Parents to have an open adoption if that is not what they want. Some Birth Parents choose to have a closed adoption because that is what they feel is best for managing their grief regarding the adoption plan. We believe that Birth Parents know what is best for themselves and their baby.
We always have our Adoptive Families send updates to us, so we can save them in the file should the Birth Parents ever decide they would like to see them. In some cases, Birth Parents do not feel ready to have openness early in the placement, as their grief is still quite raw and painful, but may decide to open up when the child is a little older. We respect our Birth Parents’ choices and always leave the decisions regarding openness, to them.
Open Adoptions in Pennsylvania, Delaware, and New Jersey
We are here to provide support, counseling and information to Birth Parents so that everyone can make the choices that are best for themselves.
