MY TWO DAUGHTERS

By  Diane and Jim (Adoptive Parents)

On December 22, 1997, my husband and I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl - life didn't get much better than this!!  We had discussed before having our daughter that we did want to have more than one child, but were definitely not ready yet.  We wanted to enjoy her and wait until she was about 3 years old to try to get pregnant again. 

Since we did not have any difficulty getting pregnant the first time, it did not occur to us that we would have difficulty conceiving our second child -well, we were wrong!!  After meeting with our gynecologist, we were referred to a fertility specialist.  After going through various treatments, it was determined that I was not going to be able to carry a child.  The news was devastating but then we began to discuss other options.

We have a friend who had just adopted a child through Adoption Arc so we decided to give Tara a call and hear what she had to say.  After going through the process of getting clearances, writing letters and waiting, on September 27, 2004, our second daughter was born in a New Jersey Hospital. 

Knowing that our daughter was going to be born around a certain time in September because Tara had kept in close contact with the birth mother and when her doctors appointments were, we were able to get her room ready in advance - luckily we had kept the crib and other baby things from the first time.  It was definitely a different feeling than when we were getting the nursery ready for our older child because we felt much more confident with what we were doing, already had much of the equipment and I was able to help more because I wasn't 9 months pregnant.

We were not there for the actual birth, but went to the hospital the next day to meet her.  We brought our older daughter, who by this time was 7 years old.  Once we met our daughter, it was if she had always been a part of our life, and we love her as much as if I had given birth to her. 

Both my husband and I obviously did not know how we would feel the first moment we saw our daughter - it was the most incredible experience and having our older daughter in the nursery with us seeing her was indescribable. As time goes by, our family bond has grown stronger and stronger. My husband and I never think about the fact that she is adopted - she is our daughter that we love and plan to take care of forever!  We also did not know what it would be like going from having one 7 year old to having a 7 year old and a baby - it was definitely going to be like we were starting over again - diapers, middle of the night feedings etc.  I can only equate it to riding a bike - it comes right back to you and our older daughter was and still is incredibly helpful - we are very lucky about that and we wouldn't trade having our two daughters for anything!!!

The main difference that we see between our two daughters is that our biological daughter shows many hereditary personality traits and of course, our adopted daughter brings surprises to us on a daily basis.

Both girls love each other - I think that our older daughter feels especially lucky because she is so excited to have a sibling.  It is so wonderful to see how they play together and my husband and I are so thankful for Tara and Adoption Arc for making this match for us.

 

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