My Not - So Typical Family

By Mahima - An Adoptee

In May of 1985 I became the seventh child in the Walter family of Lansing, NY.  We were not a typical American family.  I was adopted as an infant from India while my family was living there due to my father's job.  I am fortunate to have four older sisters and two older brothers.  Two of my siblings are also adopted. Their biracial background combined with my parents' Norwegian and French decent and my Indian ethnicity created our multicultural family. 

Our family was seen by some as intriguing and fascinating while others were just bewildered when they met us.  And, there were also a small number of strangers who actually expressed disgust by our family.  Most often, when I tell others about my siblings, I can sense their curiosity and desire to ask questions.  Since this is the only family that I have ever had, our uniqueness has always been my norm. 

As a child, I had an intense need to belong and be "normal."  I think most people can relate to this desire, whether in school, the work place, or the family.  I was fortunate to have two older nonwhite siblings who were adopted within the United States.  Therefore, within my family, I felt like I "fit in."  Had I been the only adopted child among my six siblings, I may not have felt as comfortable with my adoption (and more specifically, my interracial adoption) as I do. 

My parents have always been as proud of my heritage as they are of their own.  My Indian background has brought an additional dynamic to my family.  My parents have always had a desire to learn about other cultures as well as an esteemed appreciation for racial and cultural diversity.  Having lived there, they had their own connection with India that was independent of me. This showed me that their interest was sincere and personal.  They were not just trying to give me token lessons about my Indian heritage or forced connections with my cultural background.  In turn, my own pride in my ethnicity is genuine and continues to heighten as I mature.

Without a doubt my family and childhood have had a profound impact on the young adult that I have grown into.  Today I realize the amount of consideration, effort, sacrifice and love that was put into my adoption.  I am grateful for the decisions that were made on my behalf, and could not imagine my life any other way.

A Word from our Social Work Supervisor

My name is Patricia Buck,. In February, 2006 I was appointed to the position of Social Work Supervisor at Adoption ARC. After working 32 years with the Philadelphia Department of Human Services, I consider myself a seasoned Child Welfare Professional. However this is my first experience with the private sector. As you can imagine, this is shaping up to be a new and exciting experience.

It has been interesting to contrast the differences between the two sectors . In the first place, the private adoption agencies serve voluntary consumers. Birth parents approach the agency and request help in planning for their unborn child. They voluntarily relinquish their parental rights. Birth parents select the adoptive parents. The decision about on going contact between the birth parent and the adoptive family is made by in individual basis. In many cases, the birth parent participates in the placement and maintains some contact with their child and the adoptive family. In other cases, the birth does not wish any ongoing contact. In all situations, this agency does request that the adoptive parents send us regular pictures of the child. Depending on the wishes and accessibility of the birth parent, these pictures are either maintained in an office file or send to the birthparent.

The perspective adoptive parents also choose to work with us. They agree to pay fees for services performed and many times are willing to help the birth mother with living expenses, when legally allowable.
In the public sector most of the adoptive foster parents have fostered the children first Most of the children have been removed from the home involuntarily due to issues of abuse and/ or neglect. The children in the public agency are older ,whereas  Adoption ARC primarily works with newborns.

This has been a learning experience for me to date.  I have now seen many placements since my starting date. I have been through labors, transported children to medical appointments, and conducted many open meetings. Yet, I never can describe the look of utter joy an adoptive parent has when meeting their child for the first time.

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