Life goes on

By, Lauren - A Birth Mother

The thought of my adoption plan, which took place nearly two years ago, evokes so many emotions it is hard to put my finger on any particular one.  It feels like just yesterday I packed my eighteen years of life into my fathers' truck and headed south for college. Leaving behind any sense of sanity I might have garnered in my brief existence here in Philadelphia, but most importantly leaving my only child behind as well.

I find great solace now, as I prepare to enter my junior year, knowing that my son has a loving family who can provide him with the financial and emotional stability that I could not. I have reached a point where I am completely content with my feelings regarding every aspect of my life, as I have come to realize that in most instances time is the only device that provides a real sense of clarity and heals all wounds.

During my freshmen and sophomore years in college I had a personal narrative published, joined several campus organizations, and changed my major about three times. I also became a volunteer/mentor with the Philadelphia Boys and Girls Club, and co-produced a radio talk show at the university radio station. I am currently preparing for the Law School Admission Test (LSAT) and attribute most of my success in life now, to the birth of my child and subsequent adoption plan I made for him two years ago. If I never felt so beforehand, I now realize my life has to mean something, for him. I have resolved to make my life's work a testament to the unwavering love this mother has for her child.  If all the pain and sadness I experienced following my adoption plan can eliminate just one moment of pain in my sons' life, my work as a mother has not been in vain. If the countless tears I cried can eradicate just one tear that may possibly fall from his eyes, my work as a mother has not been in vain.

So for every birth mother that might be weathering the post adoption emotional storm that inevitably ensues placement, from one mother to another, for all it's worth, things get better and life goes on. I am confident nothing happened per- chance, rather it was a divine purpose that could not be avoided or explained. Amazingly, if I had it to do all over again, I would not change one thing.

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